Today is day four of back to restricting. I'm finding it ok, some urges to binge but they are being kept at bay by the thought of how repulsive I am.
I took my oldest pet rabbit to see my mum today (she lives in a flat and isn't supposed to have animals there). It made her day so that made me a little happier.
Weight: 233lbs - passed first goal weight (235)
Weight lost: 8.6 lbs
Weight to lose for next goal weight: 3 lbs
Today for my exercise goal I am planning on doing a 1 hour yoga DVD with my boyfriend. It's not very aerobic but it still gives a nice workout. I need to do more exercise on my rowing machine and side stepper, got some TV shows I recorded that I can work out in front of to pass the time and making the exercise less boring.
My activity for myself today will be to give myself a manicure, I have a habit of growing my nails so they look really pretty and then randomly just hating them and ripping them off. I don't know why I do it. One of my taekwondo friends is coming over today as well. I am going to plan to make my mum a cushion for Mothers' Day, so we are going to brainstorm on that one.
I won't be able to see my mum on Mothers' Day because I am going to the TAGB English National Championships in Telford. I am not fighting but I will be competing in the patterns section of the tournament.
We have finally booked a holiday together (me and my boyfriend that is), we couldn't really afford to go abroad so we've booked a week camping at a place called Sandy Balls in the New Forest. Nice place name!
I still feel rediculously horrible and ugly... Starting to think I may have a seriously distorted body image. But then again, probably not - I'm just fat. Big, hideous, huge, fat, ugly cow.
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