I have reached breaking point this week. I have never felt so low before and so out of control. I have been bingeing and purging so much it's really hurting me now. I was considering suicide. I still am.
But today I have to make a change. If I carry on like this, I will die - either from obesity or from my own actions. I got a new scale, I weigh 241.6 lbs now after 3 days of bingeing.
I am not going to binge today. It will be the hardest day ever. I have to do this alone, because no one takes my eating disorder seriously. I've had a panic attack today about my weight. It's killing me.
I have to do this.
Weight: 241.6 lbs Weight loss needed to first Goal Weight: 6.6 lbs
Food today: (as of 2:00 pm)
Bran pancake (269 cals)
Vegetable soup (110 cals)
I plan to have Tuna (150) and veg (80) for dinner
I plan to have 2 satsumas for a snack (80)
Activity to make myself feel good today: Bath, moisturise and hair treatments
Photography at a local park.
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