I've had a few days of bingeing and purging. I have no idea how much I weigh, I've probably gained way past the 241.6 lbs I was at the start. I'm scared to weigh myself. I don't want to weigh myself alone because I know that will trigger the hell out of me and I'll end up bingeing and then I really will be a fat disgusting hippo.
I'll weigh myself tomorrow morning after today of restricting. I feel a little calmer now I have my 24 calorie creme frache rather than the 55 calorie one. I've got my soups and my tuna. I have everything I need to lose weight. I will succeed.
I've contacted a private counsellor to help me overcome the bingeing and purging. The community mental health teams have failed me way too many times so I'm doing it myself.
I'll write more later if Ii feel better.
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